


A little love and a little smoke

by Technomancer28



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Schoolboy romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Technomancer28/pseuds/Technomancer28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes all you need is a little love and a little smoke by the evening to get over all that just isn't right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A little love and a little smoke

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters and places belong to J.K. Rowling.  
> Pairing: Regulus/Remus  
> Rating:T  
> Word count:4121

 

A little love and a little smoke

He looks at the door open by itself, the door close by itself like something out of a horror story-a typical one-and then there's a familiar hand in the air and it's pulling back the cloak revealing _his_ familiarly tired face and slightly disheveled brown hair which he shakes a little.

Regulus waits for these nights.

And [now](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8647652/2/Of-wolves-and-lion-hearts) Remus will turn and look around for Regulus as if he would somehow vanish, as if this was all only an elaborate prank set up to humiliate him, as if he is his brother. And then Remus does look at him but tonight there isn't that relieved look crossing his features and no smile following the look; only something resembling apprehension and Regulus's insides grow cold. He knew or at least he had gotten wind of exactly what his latest visit to Number Twelve Grimmauld had been about.

"What's wrong? Not happy to see me?" Regulus can't help feigning innocence and he smiles. Remus however doesn't return it nor does he reply, so Regulus does what they come to these dark, empty classrooms for and gets up sleekly from his perch on a desk and just as elegantly crosses the distance between them before placing his hands on Remus's shoulders.

For a second Remus's eyes flare as if to push him away but then Regulus sees the movement of his Adam's apple and he leans forward to press his lips against it. Then Remus's arms are moving and there's a hand on the small of his back and another against his face, tilting it so that Regulus can't hide the depth of his feelings fast enough but right now he doesn't even want to, because this may be the last time they do this, unless Remus with his kind heart and soul can't stand leaving him all heart-broken. But that seems too much like pity and Regulus instantly detests himself for even thinking along such lines. There isn't anything heart-breaking about this.

Remus's breathing is already harsh when he is looking into his eyes and Regulus licks his lip wanting to urge the older boy so they don't have to wait anymore; he has waited too long already. And it works, like always, because Remus's eyes dart downward to his mouth and his palm somehow seems to tighten as they move back just a bit into his hair and then they're kissing with lips pressed hard and Remus's arms tight all around him and their bodies hard and perfect against one another. It's burning and feverish and it's like home.

Regulus waits for these interludes, he waits patiently on the outside and fidgety on the inside for them.

Then it stops all at once and Remus's arms just lose their hold as if they have been cut off by a powerfully cast jinx and he steps back. And it all happens so fast that Regulus with all his usual eloquence is left standing with his arms dropping at his sides and lips still parted but he regains his haughtiness in a moment and looks up at Remus with a raised brow.

"Well." He starts again, "Are you planning on telling me what this is all about?" When Remus sighs angrily and runs a hand through his hair, Regulus doesn't think he wants to stand about all night dealing with it and maybe he could just leave now for his dormitory. It meant not having Remus tell him that this thing between them would be over, at least not tonight. And that sounded bloody great.

So he huffs in what he assumes is a dignified manner and brushes by Remus making sure that their left shoulders touch and Remus can feel the heat all the way up and down his arm. But Remus grabs him by the elbow before he can take more than a step away from him. Regulus entertains the notion of Remus having felt the connection between them and so never wanting to let go but it really is too bad that he is a realist. Had always been one.

"Regulus." And _Salazar_ , if Remus's hoarse whispers never fails to send his temperature through the roof; if Regulus didn't welcome it so much he would have hexed him long ago for even trying to, no doubt do some bodily harm to his insides. But he doesn't want to answer because it seems to have an effect that way, as if he does not care enough about Remus's explanation…or that he actually does.

"Regulus." He repeats and this time he sounds controlled and Regulus turns to him to see a tentative smile as if he is just being polite because the alternative may not be something good. "How were your Easter holidays?" Well, trust Remus to ask that way and make him actually feel a tiny bit guilty for not having written to him or reply to his mails over the holidays. He let it go however and shrugged with a plastered smile.

"Oh, it was good." Then, "Really good, in fact." It's easy to shake his arm out of Remus's grasp and sits atop a desk again before recounting his holidays that had most definitely been something to look forward to. "For once, the evenings ended well. Oh and Bella and Cissy-you know, Narcissa-were there too. Oh! And grandfather Pollux too so the whole family-"

"The whole family?" Remus interrupts and his eyes are that feral looking kind, the kind that can bring Regulus to his knees in moments of heat and scare him just a little-very little-when he is like this. Because while Regulus knows he is a great duelist-they both are-he also knows that he will hurt Remus if it becomes necessary. Killing him for the Dark Lord's sake however…he's not so sure so he doesn't think about it.

But Remus is shaking him by the shoulders and Regulus is forced to listen to him as he says something about Sirius…

"…He's your brother, Regulus. And you-just-to just disregard him like that-" And because Remus is actually frustrated and pacing now, it's at times like these Regulus wonders if perhaps he would rather have gotten together with Sirius if possible and if he was just another second choice in the history of second choices that seemed to be his life. The life of a second child…

"He left us." Regulus tells him, somehow he has always evaded talking about Sirius and Remus has always let it go because he supposes-hopes-no one wants to think of their best friend when they are snogging wetly with limbs intertwined and sweaty with said best friend's brother. "He could have had everything, Remus. Everything. Our family, me, everything…" And Regulus hates the way he sounded just now, because he does still hope for a miracle to turn Sirius back, to come and ask for forgiveness. But he _is_ a born and bred Black so that idea was the most impossible of impossible.

"You?" Remus leans back against the table opposite to his and Regulus can't help noticing the distance, "You could have gone with him, Regulus. He told me, us." At this Regulus feels the pent-up anger starting to surge upwards from inside.

"Gone with him? Run away to that-that Potter's house?" And he can see that Remus doesn't like the way he almost spits out 'Potter' from the way he frowns so he wills himself to calm down because shouting and the like were more of Sirius's manner than his. "And become a charity case? I don't think so, Remus. Sirius was stupid, I'm not." Remus gives him a disbelieving look.

"Well, at least you would have been out of that prison you call home." Remus's voice has risen too and Regulus momentarily wonders if Filch can hear them from wherever he is roaming around now looking for students like them who are out for a little sexual escapade, at least they had been, Regulus is not so sure anymore and it only intensifies his anger and makes him ball his fists.

"Prison?" He bites out, "That's my house, our house. The Blacks'. Who do you think-"

"I'm not like you." Remus breaks into his outraged claims with his calm demeanour back, "But I do know where I have a home, Regulus." Remus had been looking down but now he looks up at him, "Are you happy there?" Regulus wants to ask where 'there' is but somehow knows that Remus won't be thrilled and it will make him look stupid, which he is not.

"Of course I am." Regulus answers any way and he is brilliant at lying so anyone else would have believed, Remus however just gives him a sad smile and pushes himself off the desk and in that scarily-mystifying way is in front of him in the blink of an eye. He is still giving him that look and Regulus doesn't want it because Remus doesn't understand; he himself was almost a Mudblood after all.

"I see." Remus replies simply and Regulus is a little surprised that he let it go so quickly so he watches cautiously as Remus raises his hand and places it over his thigh, leans closer and kisses the corner of his mouth. Regulus doesn't know what has changed Remus's mind but he is not complaining because they seem to have evaded the topic of holidays and hence the Dark Mark that is branded along his forearm like a medal, a proof of how he has done what Sirius was too hot-headed, too afraid to do; proof that he does not run away like his brother. So much for his prided Gryffindor courage.

Regulus responds eagerly and shifts his face just _so_ that their lips meet in a somewhat desperate kiss; he can feel Remus's anguish in the kiss and raises his arms to encircle them around Remus. But Remus grabs both of his arms and pushes them back so that they are forced to rest against the table top and it is a little vexing and confusing because Regulus likes the way Remus is being so uncharacteristically forceful and also rebellious against such treatment because he _is_ a Black after all.

He struggles a little and feels the hands around his wrist tighten and Remus deepens the kiss simultaneously so Regulus can't really think anymore but only feel as Remus's right hand slips under his left palm and their fingers intertwine, then his fingers are traveling up and unbuttoning the cuff of his shirt and Regulus's eyes snap open in realisation.

"No!" Regulus pulls away, trying to dislodge his wrist from Remus's hand but he sees the look Remus has and he knows that he has literally been tricked as Remus's strong grip ends up tearing the sleeve of his shirt right up to his elbow and the Dark Mark is inky and glowing eerily in the dim flame of the floating candles.

Remus stares at it and the silence that is reigning upon them right now is deafening, disturbing and Regulus wants to say something, he wants to apologise even though he has done nothing wrong but Remus is staring down at it, Regulus's wrist still in his grasp but it's not so tight anymore.

"It's true then." Remus states normally as he lets go of his hand and Regulus feels the air leave his insides as his hand falls uselessly beside him because something is over and it feels ominous.

"It's my responsibility now." He says, needs to explain to Remus why he has done what he has even though he does not owe him anything. Remus is just a distraction that every boy his age needs, the difference being that he is not a girl. "Sirius ran away from it, so I have to be the one." He sees Remus huff disbelievingly before he is straightening his robe and turning away towards the door. His stomach clenches at the sight and he is reaching out before understanding what he is doing when Remus whirls around and he drops his hand only to look up and see an unusual anger painted across his face.

"This is not responsibility. It's madness." Remus tells him harshly, "And I've had enough of you. I'd wish you best of luck with your life from now on, but really, fat chance of that anymore." He looks at the Dark Mark scathingly before turning away again. Regulus's blood boils.

"Enough of me?" He scoffs and lets out a scornful laugh, "Don't be daft, Lupin. Like _you_ didn't come on to me, of course." When Remus stops in front of the door, his fists clenched, Regulus leaves his place and stalks up to the older boy, anger and apprehension coiling inside him.

"Well, _you_ can try looking for someone else-someone who'll waste their time on you-but really, fat chance of that anymore." He mimics seeing the strong jaw clench and steps closer behind the other but Remus strides forward, grips the handle of the door and turns his head just a bit towards him.

"It's disgusting what you've allowed to be done to yourself." He says softly and Regulus sees his gaze travel to the Dark Mark. It makes him want to scream and it is so very hard to keep himself in control when all he wants to do is reach out, hold on to Remus and to tell him to _'just, please…don't leave.'_

"You don't understand." He whispers harshly, "You'll never understand it." It isn't disgusting, the Dark Mark is equal to an honourable badge and Remus can't see that, can't see how it has made Regulus welcome into the family, how it has made Mother proud.

"And a good thing too, isn't it?" Remus replies looking directly at him, his eyes are suspiciously bright, Regulus can't help noticing. Then Remus shakes his head and opens the door. The sudden cool air doesn't freeze Regulus as Remus's next words do, "Forget it, Reg. I don't want to understand it." And Remus looks at him again before saying his last real words to him, "Sometimes…I kept forgetting who you really were." And he leaves, just like that he is gone and Regulus is left staring at the open gate, feeling nothing except the slight howling of the air in the corridors but even that is not so noticeable.

He doesn't know what to do so he gathers himself, automatically grabs his wand and repairs his shirt, then proceeds to return to his dormitory because it feels like something in him has just died.

OoOoOo888888888OoOoOo

It is the day before their graduation-Sirius's and his friends' that is-and Regulus sees the bustling activities of the Professors, prefects and Peeves alike in the corridors, the classrooms, the Great Hall, in short: everywhere.

School is not the same without their trysts anymore.

Some days he almost runs into Remus-today being one of those-and he usually averts his eyes and goes on his way, ignoring the twinge in his chest which has considerably diminished since those first days of stopping whatever they had. Remus usually follows suit and acts as though he does not exist. Sirius tries too but his glare is slightly penetrating so it actually makes Regulus's grip around his books tighter.

So it comes as a surprise when Remus stops, looks at him and Regulus feels some kind of a pull, maybe because they will not be seeing each other again-most likely-and he is startled to see Remus look slightly unsure, opening his mouth as if to say something.

Today he is with Evans and Regulus is starting to feel his heart rate rising so he walks fast and past them, heading towards the Dungeons. He hears a set of familiar footsteps jogging up to him from behind and begins panicking slightly because he does not know how to say something without giving away just how much he- _fuck_ -misses Remus, how much he still wants him.

"Reg. Regulus!" Remus sounds slightly annoyed even though his voice hasn't risen than usual but then Regulus feels his hand wrap around his arm and he is jerked back. His back touches Remus's chest lightly and the familiar spark ignites within him but Remus lets go of him when they both see a passing Slytherin First Year scrutinising them, as if a Gryffindor is attacking their prefect. Regulus raises an eyebrow at the girl who scuttles away; some things don't change.

"Hey." Remus says and he turns towards him but not really looking at him, "Do you have some time right now?" Somewhere inside him Regulus knows that if it was possible, he would have all the time in the world for Remus but he merely shrugs.

"I guess." He replies without looking at him still, "But for five minutes only." He states firmly, it _is_ almost evening after all. Remus nods and gestures towards the direction Regulus had just come in from.

They are walking beside each other with a considerable few inches separating them but Regulus feels some kind of a current run along his body, the very same kind that he had gotten so used to before; he hadn't realised how much he had missed it. And it is so very hard to not inch closer to Remus, to brush his hand against him in pretense of a misstep but he keeps his face straight and walks towards the grounds.

He wonders if Remus feels the same.

"So." Remus starts first once they reach outside; they are in a spot behind a particularly large rock so that not too many people can see them and Regulus's body relaxes a little. "How have you been?" Regulus still doesn't look at him, he isn't sure if he will be able to keep his composure and not do something stupid like throw his arms around Remus and hold on tight. Those eyes and every expression has been imprinted on the back of his eyelids and pathetic as it may be, he does visit each and every one of them when he is alone behind his bed curtains.

"Well." He shrugs a little, he's been doing that quite a bit these days, he realises. He considers lying but Remus will be gone and it really doesn't matter what he says now; they are done and over as they are supposed to be. "I've been better." He sees Remus's shoe shift beside his and gulps as he feels him slide closer; not yet touching, but closer. He feels Remus shuffling around for something and looks from the corner of his eyes to see him pull something out of his pocket after which Remus turns towards him and he looks away trying to appear disinterested.

"Is that-" Regulus has to blink once to make sure that he really is seeing his fellow Prefect do such a thing and it looks tempting especially because of the way his lips are wrapped around the thin stick.

"Cigarette? Yes." Remus completes for him with his usual twinkle in his eyes before pursing his lips. Regulus feels a bit hot around the neck so he looks away but suddenly the smoke hits the side of his face and his nose; it is so very hard not to cough at the strong scent. He turns towards Remus with a glare.

"Did you just blow that-that smoke at me?" Regulus asks disbelievingly and Remus's chuckle is so very endearing. Oh Salazar, what is _wrong_ with him today?

"You looked like you could do with some of it." Remus tells him and continues inhaling making the visible end glow and Regulus has the slight urge to give it a try but he puts on a stern expression.

"I don't think so; it's a disgusting habit really. Smoking." He adds for the effect and Remus still has that frustratingly amused expression. He exhales a cloud of smoke and looks away from Regulus.

"You get used to it, disgusting as it may be." Remus replies, "I guess some things just are like that." Regulus's heartbeat suddenly feels like thunder in his own chest. He couldn't possibly mean…

He is forced to look at Remus as he waves his hand in front of his face holding the lit cigarette and then offers it to him with a raise of his cinnamon-coloured eyebrow. There is a voice that sounds suspiciously like a cross between his and Sirius's from when they used to be five and six years old that is just telling him, pushing him to _just try it for once, what's the harm in it?_ Regulus reaches out and plucks the cigarette from Remus's fingers without any accidents or burns or any disaster whatsoever before inhaling it the way he had seen Remus do it.

Remus snorts unhelpfully as Regulus coughs on his first attempt but he manages his Black glare which unsurprisingly does not seem to intimidate Remus at all. But he has always been a good learner and he gets it fast so that after a couple of minutes there is less than half the cigarette left and he is inhaling and exhaling without any trouble. He really is a natural at everything he does.

"Hey." Remus says softly and plucks the cigarette out of Regulus's lips with a gentle pop and takes a long drag after which he exhales slowly and Regulus is a little mesmerised by the smoke rings and the next ones that are shaped dog-like and a stag and a mouse-or is it a rat?-run circles around each other until they waft into the colourless air. Remus inhales and turns to him with a challenging look and Regulus just cannot turn that down so he shifts closer than he needs to, pulls the cigarette out of the other's mouth and before he has the chance to lose his nerve, kisses him instantly.

Remus, Regulus realises must have been feeling the way he has been too because within a second or two he finds himself pulled into his lap. Regulus inhales the smoke from in between their lips and pulls back to exhale it upwards in a slow motion that ends up as rings, nothing fancy. When he looks down at Remus, a satisfied smirk tugs at the corner of his lips and Remus smiles at him before tangling his hand in the hair at the nape of his neck and pull him into an open-mouthed kiss that Regulus just can't help but return. Their tongues touch and Regulus feels Remus push him down on the ground.

His world rights itself again. It is a little scary how Remus can make him feel so intensely.

The need for air makes Regulus curse it inwardly as they break apart and he looks up at Remus's glowing gaze as he is looming over him in the darkening afternoon.

"Ten points from Gryffindor." Regulus announces breathlessly, "No smoking on school grounds; you of all the people should know that by now, Lupin." Remus eyes the last stub of cigarette held in Regulus's fingers; it is a miracle that nothing catastrophic had happened in the midst of their frenzied snogging.

"I suppose that's ten points from Slytherin too." He tugs the cigarette out of Regulus's hand and pulls the boy up so they can sit against the large boulder but with minimal distance this time. "Seeing how you have the nerve to smoke in front of a Prefect that too. Tut, tut."

Regulus settles himself comfortably, his back against Remus's chest and smiles lazily when Remus generously holds the cigarette to his lips. He takes a large drag and waits until Remus has taken the last one before throwing the cigarette end away. He goes first and exhales the smoke that take strange forms that could have been dragon wings or Hippogriffs or nothing at all and he is not that annoyed when Remus's smoke rings come out perfectly.

"I still don't like it." Remus tells him as he is running his fingers along his left arm where the Dark Mark rested, "But…" He doesn't need to finish it. Regulus nods sleepily as he watches the smoke drift upwards; it is rather pretty, he thinks and strangely it makes him want to tell Remus how much he means to him, how much he really cares.

But he does neither and instead places one hand over Remus's that were wrapped around his waist and lets the other snake along upward around his neck as he rests his head on the older boy's shoulder. Remus sighs a little but nuzzles his neck in a cat-like manner.

Regulus doesn't want to think of the future now; somewhere in him, he knows that Remus, for all his attitude to play the saviour for him and those closest to him will not be able to save him. It was just too late and he had a duty to fulfill. If it came down to it, Remus would choose to kill him, he knows because now he is the enemy and there are people at stake.

The smoke makes the surroundings look like a water-painting and the dream-like state is perfect. For once, Regulus is ready to just _be_.

_-Fin-_

 


End file.
